Please and Thank You

So this is my topic for today. Why? Well personal reasons really, went to get (a very close friend) a present to her for her birthday, and although she wasn't in, I posted it through her letter box. I also sent her a text message to let her know that I had done it, so she knew I hadn't forgot about her birthday. I'm not asking for much, just a small text or even a message online to say she got it and two simple words, thank you!!!!!

Yes this has annoyed me, as for one, I rank her as one of my closest friends. I have been there through thick and thin for her. Most of the time it's me being there for her. Sometimes wonder if this friendship is one sided cos i do all the running as such. Hmmm, the turmoil.

But then, it's not just her that doesn't know how to say please, thank you, excuse me etc...I see and hear ignorance every day.

Sad how pathetic things become.

© Clair Sanders

RIP Steo

On October 10th 2009, a familar face on the boy band front, Stephen Gately, sadly passed away. Although I was never a huge boyzone fan, I seen them live several times and they filled a void when Take That went their seperate ways.

Stephen died of natural causes. The post mortem came back as Pulmonary oedema. Thoughts are with Stephen, his family, friends, bandmates and partner through their difficult time.

With watching youtube videos, one image caught my eye that summed him up (to me) about what he loved doing.

Good night young man, god bless.

© Clair Sanders

Father Of Hate

Here I am again,
All alone til the end,
Wondering if these tears will ever stop.

As they fall down my face,
I feel so empty and bare,
Thinking I don't even care.

I don't know where I've gone wrong,
All I wanted to be,
Was the perfect son.

I often looked up to you as a kid,
Playing footy in our back yard,
Always looking to you for advice,
When it would be about girls,
Or the crap show Miami Vice.

Then one fine day,
Nature called.
Time to grow up boy,
Time to become a man.

No matter how old I become,
You'll always be my dad,
And I'll always be your son.

So why do you treat me like crap?
Have I ever done you so much harm?
Being father and son,
Means going through thick and thin,
No matter how many times,
We both want to give in.

I don't think you even realise,
How much pain I have inside,
You were always to be the first...
To kick me on my backside.

I long for you to turn around,
To see the man I have become,
Still the same old son,
Just with more fire and fury,
C'mon where's the gun?

You know what Sir?
You can kiss my ass!
If you don't have any pride in me,
Why should I let that destroy me?

So you won't give me the hug I long for,
Don't worry Dad,
I'm now a soldier.

I'm going to march on,
Even if your not by my side,
I don't need a negative dictator like you,
To screw up my life.

I've realised I'm not alone,
I've got so many mates that you don't even know!
So here I dedicate this salute to them.

So we're not as close as we used to be,
Maybe that is the way things were meant to be.
Someone once told me,
Never to take the honey from the bee.

Looks like you've turned out to be the honey,
And I'm the bee,
So here we go father,
I want to be free.

© Clair Sanders

An Ode To You

To hear you say that you want me,
To hear you say that you love me,
Bringing a smile to my face,
One that I can't remove right now,
Thinking of you,
In the way I know how.

Let me be the one,
Your one and only,
The one that you love,
Cherish and adore.
The one who loves you dearly,
The one who trusts you completely,
The one who believes in you,
Who will always believe in you.

It's strange how two hearts,
Combine as one,
If one heart would stop beating,
The other one slowly shall too.

We're so many miles apart,
But we have each other’s hearts,
They won't beat forever,
So cherish it while you can.

I lie alone at night,
Staring out into the cold dark night,
Knowing that you are asleep,
Tucked in from any harm,
Snuggled up in your bed,
Wishing you was here instead.

If I could,
I would move heaven and earth,
Just to be with you,
Even if it was just for one day.

A day would never be enough,
For you and I,
So many things to say to you,
I'm sure I would run out of time.

I'd watch and listen to you,
With so much love,
I'm sure that you'll get paranoid,
With every cheeky smile.

Our time together,
Would be so worthwhile,
Just to hold you in my arms,
Would be sufficient enough for me,
To remember that moment,
Years from now,
Will always bring back the tears to my eyes.

© Clair Sanders

Lost Soul

To watch you crumble,
To watch you fall.
Makes me worry,
That you will lose it all.

As a friend I can see,
That your in trouble,
And not worry free.

To turn to your demons,
To go back to the gutter,
Doesn't help matters,
So I watch you falter.

To be drink free,
To be happy,
It's always been a possibility.

Dreams are often hard to reach.
But a lost soul like yours..
Need a familar hand to reach out to.

No matter how mad I become,
No matter if I contemplate throwing in the towel,
I am a friend.
A confidant,
And a listener.

I don't, nor will I judge you by your problems.
The only time I will judge you is by your actions.

Be the man I know you can be,
Then your dreams may become a reality.

Stand up,
Be counted,
Be strong.

Use your mind and your strength
to get you through the demon.
Pour the drink away.

There is one thing I never want to do,
And that is to break you in to two.

So stand up,
Make your voice heard,
Make it a new beginning and not the end.

Be a survivor,
Be who you want to be.
A husband, a father, a brother and a friend.

Good luck to you on your journey,
May you get there in the end.

© Clair Sanders

Butterfly

Spread your wings,
Time to fly.
Say goodbye to what you know as hell.
Head for the horizon,
So clear and blue.

Put your past behind you,
It's where it belongs.
The new day is dawning,
A new life ahead is ready to rise.

Forget those who have scorned you,
Or burned you along the way.
Tomorrow is another day,
To spread your wings and fly.

Life doesn't last forever,
Soon your flight will be done.
So look in to the blazing sun,
And realise what you could become.

Something beautiful and strong,
full of life and care free.
Never mind the beasts on the way,
They'll never know the strength inside.
To let us fly,
To let us be free.

© Clair Sanders

Why Can't You See?

Why do you appear blind?
I passed you today,
But I was just a face
In the passing crowd.

I walked on,
Pretending of your non existence,
But then I stood still,
Turning back around,
To face the crowd.

You haven't changed in any way,
Still have your hair up
in the "nurses bun".
Looking elegant,
Same stance,
Yet I do not approach.

I wanted to,
To get unresolved issues answered.
To ask questions that play on my mind,
All coming from when I was a growing child.

My heart melted slightly,
Remembering the aunt I once adored,
The one that cared for us,
For our family,
Yet who would have known
That the future would bring,
Broken promises, tears and back stabbing lies.

I laughed with my mum,
Your sister,
Knowing that you wouldn't approve
Of the forward style I have,
But what am I to you; Nothing.

You have been gone years,
Why can't you see?
Can't see who I have become.

If nana was here today,
There is no doubt in my mind
That our family would be united,
But alas she isn't here,
So we are divided.

Her rose bush will always bloom,
For the love of her family,
Shame it's fallen apart,
But the way I see things now,
It's your loss.

You may be grieving right now,
But without a strong family by your side,
Doesn't it make you wonder,
How much support you would receive,
How much love that you would have felt,
Yet you decided to go down a different path.

You've failed to see your family grow,
Three different personalities,
Three different sets of life,
Three humourous adults,
Thought provoking,
Yet you remain blind.

You will never see,
Of what could have been,
A joyous time in your life,
Nephews and a niece,
Growing up,
Gaining minds of thier own.

"I was blind but now I can see"
If only...
Why can't you see?
You've hurt me...

© Clair Sanders